Welcome to my outlet. This is a place for me to express all of these bizarre bottled up opinions that I impart to only a select few. Many of these opinions will be sports related, however I do expound on other things like television, politics, and fatherhood. To give you a brief sample of some of the things I like to discuss:

The Minnesota Vikings- Fellas, importing hookers from the best strip club in the country sounds like a mighty fun bye week tradition, however in the words of Forrest Gump, stupid is as stupid does. Next time, I suggest hiring a prostitution consultant, like Michael Irvin. The Cowboys were smart enough to use their ample resources to rent a house to do this stuff. No one found out until the end of their Super Bowl run. Heck, Michael Keaton in Night Shift was more low key than the Vikings. Maybe this is partially why those Cowboys won 3 Super Bowls and these Vikings are embarrassing the city and the league, on and off the field.

David Stern and the NBA- What the heck are they doing?? 85% of the league's players are African American and he imposes a dress code that outlaws most every trendy clothing item that his players like to wear. Dave, you may want to clean up the image of your league, but the place to start is to keep players out of the stands beating on patrons and keep patrons from throwing beverages on your players. Stephen Jackson's bling and Allen Iverson's throwback jerseys are not keeping people from watching basketball. Next thing up, will be to make all bald coaches wear wigs. Could you just see Jeff Van Gundy wearing George Costanza'a hairpiece from that one episode of Seinfeld. High comedy.

Fatherhood- I'm at the stage with my 2 year old where she isn't potty trained yet, but she eats enough to make adult size dumps. And I've decided that its the worst diaper changing stage that fatherhood has to offer. Frankly, its like cleaning one of my own dumps, but smells worse. If I was cleaning my own dump, it wouldn't be as bad because we can all stand the smell of our own poop. Now granted, through DNA, the smell of my kids' dump has a resemblance to the odor of mine, so its not like cleaning a stranger's poop. But its no picnic. And it gets worse before it gets better. Because once potty training starts, you have accidents. Which means not only are you cleaning poop off your kid's butt, but you have to detach the clothes from the poop. With all that said, I love fatherhood, but that isn't as funny as talking about doody.