The Tuna


The NFL network is running a documentary this weekend about legendary coach Bill Parcells. In addition to being one of the better football coaches in history, Parcells was also one of the most quotable. Not unlike Vince Lombardi’s ‘Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing” and Al Davis’ “Just win baby”, Parcells has a few of his own gems woven into the fabric of American sport. Of course, we have the famous, “If you’re going to cook the meal, you want to shop for the groceries.” However, the one I’m going to expound upon is, “you are what your record says you are.”

We’re around a dozen games into the NBA season, give or take a game or two for some teams. Very frankly, this is not a large enough sample size to draw a ton of definitive conclusions. So with all due respect to the Tuna, not every team is what their record says. And by the way, how did he get that nickname the tuna. If you ask me, he looks more like a flounder, but I digress. Even with this small sample size, there are still plenty of things we’ve learned and many of them are not apparent just by examining any given team’s current record. Some of these things surprise me…..some, not so much.

I’m not surprised that Brandon Roy is having significant knee issues at the age of 26. I’m curious to see if someone within the Blazers organization is interested in admitting that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to have Brandon Roy return early from knee surgery to repair a torn meniscus in the first round of last year’s playoffs. The Blazers spewed the usual nonsense that it wasn’t going to get worse. It was very clear that Roy did not belong on the floor because he grossly lacked mobility. He certainly was unable to keep Portland from losing the series. So, he risked his long term health and was ineffective in the process. And the best part about it is that the general manager who signed off on this brilliant organizational decision was fired less than two months earlier…on draft night nonetheless.

I’m very surprised that the Hornets have gotten off to such a fast start. Rookie head coach Monty Williams has done a tremendous job on two fronts. He’s instilled a defensive philosophy that promoted protecting the paint at all costs. Williams has also gotten players to improve individually by leaps and bounds in a short amount of time. Before this season began, Emeka Okafor looked like an underachieving big man with an oversized contract. Under Williams, he’s become a tough defensive presence. Also, GM Dell Demps, traded rookie Craig Brackins and Darius Songalia to Philadelphia for Willie Green and Jason Smith. Smith wasn’t good enough to crack the rotation for lowly Philly, but he’s giving New Orleans plenty of productive bench minutes. And Green has been more consistent with the Hornets than he ever was in Philly. It also doesn’t hurt when you have the top point guard in the league playing some of his best basketball of his career.

I’m not surprised that the San Antonio Spurs have gotten off to an excellent start. However, I am very surprised as to how they’ve gotten there. I was among the many who mocked Spurs GM R.C. Buford for making his “wink-wink” deal to bring back Richard Jefferson. And then I heard all the normal chatter that follows these types of contracts about Jefferson working out with the coaches all summer and being in the best shape of his career, blah, blah, blah….Then I started watching the Spurs and realized that for once, it wasn’t idle chatter. Jefferson is in the best shape of his career. He’s rededicated himself to defense. He’s playing exactly the way Spurs coach Gregg Popovich wants him to, much more taking the ball to the rim and much less perimeter shooting off the dribble. Yes, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili have played very well, but what has made the Spurs one of the league’s best teams early on has been Richard Jefferson.

I’m surprised that Kevin Love was able to pull down 31 rebounds in a game. What I’m not surprised about is who he did it against. The only guy who boxes out on the entire Knicks team is their rookie center Timofey Mozgov…and Mike D’Antoni won’t let him off the bench for any appreciable amount of time because he doesn’t shoot threes. Not to throw a wet blanket over Love’s historical achievement, but his 31 rebound extravaganza was more of a product of his opponents’ collective ineptness than his own prowess. Don’t get me wrong, Love is an excellent, fundamentally sound young rebounder. But he wasn’t exactly competing for any of his 31 boards with Charles Oakley or Anthony Mason.

Although I thought the Jazz would be a playoff team in the West, I am very surprised at the week they just had. Yes, they won 4 games in 5 nights, sweeping consecutive back to backs. But the comebacks on successive evenings in beating Miami and Orlando on their respective home courts was extremely surprising to say the least. The Jazz exhibit a unique mental toughness and seem to be emotionally connected to their head coach Jerry Sloan as a group. I am not surprised, however, that Jazz forward Paul Milsap has emerged as such an effective inside player. It is not a coincidence that young players seem to always improve on Sloan’s watch. On this year’s version of the Jazz, Sloam manages to get productive bench minutes out of C.J. Miles, Kyrylo Fesenko, and Ronnie Price. And Sloan also has an excellent GM in Kevin O’Conner who brings him pieces he needs. O’Conner should be arrested for grand larceny for stealing Al Jefferson from Minnesota for a half a turkey sub and a flat root beer. Assuming the ongoing health of Deron Williams, the Jazz will be formidable come May.

I’m very surprised that the Golden State Warriors have gotten off to a good start. The thing that surprises me the most is that their two starting guards, Stephen Curry and Monta Ellis are not only coexisting, they’re actually thriving together. I’m also surprised that David Lee has been effective for them as well. As readers of the space know, I’m not a big fan of Lee due largely to his abysmal defense, which has been hidden nicely because of the presence of Andris Biedrins playing next to Lee. Still, I’m not buying the Warriors fast start. New head coach Keith Smart has Curry and Ellis in a honeymoon period. When adversity strikes, and in a 82 game season it strikes quite frequently, look for this Ellis/Curry marriage to go the way of Courtney Cox and David Arquette. I never believed that Curry was going to be a good NBA player, but he’s proven me wrong. When the Warriors melt down, it will be because of Ellis’ selfish style of play. This is not a playoff team in the West. As a matter of fact, they’re no where close.

I am not surprised that there is a bona fide mutiny occurring against Detroit head coach John Kuester. Kuester seems to be having a difficult time commanding the respect of his players. The reality is that he was the wrong hire for this organization. He couldn’t even command the respect of the worst team in Division 1 history. (Read here for background http://hoopscritic.blogspot.com/2009_07_01_archive.html) However, in all fairness to Kuester, I don’t think that Red Auerbach could win 35 games with this putrid group that GM Joe Dumars has assembled. I understand that his core has aged like Vermont cheddar cheese. Joe D is entitled to a rebuilding phase after winning a title in 2004. And everyone around him believed that he was entitled to a rebuilding phase, except Dumars himself. He erred significantly in committing a combined $90 million to Charlie Villanueva and Ben Gordon. Then to make matters worse, he brought back Ben Wallace on a one year deal and decided to wheel in Tracy McGrady for a one year contract. Wallace and McGrady solely function to steal playing time from young players that need that time to develop. The Pistons are a lottery team. And doling out minutes to guys at the end of their career at the expense of Austin Daye and Greg Monroe is downright foolish. As it is, they’re giving Tayshaun Prince and Richard Hamilton starter’s minutes to showcase them in the hope of getting some value on the trade market. This type of resistance to making a rebuilding commitment only stretches out the process.

I am not surprised that Orlando head coach Stan Van Gundy has started to find more minutes for Brandon Bass and Marcin Gortat. Stan has historically employed a small lineup during his tenure coaching the Magic. In last year’s playoffs, the Magic were literally pushed around by the Celtics. Dwight Howard had no help inside. Orlando might have been able to combat the physicality by pushing the ball up the floor and creating open transition threes. Unfortunately for the Magic, Rajon Rondo ran circles around Orlando point guard Jameer Nelson and Nelson was not able to push the tempo effectively. By cultivating legitimate options at big forward, it opens a new set of match up options for Dapper Stan. It seems as though Van Gundy is realizing that if the Magic play slow, they must keep a bigger lineup on the floor. Otherwise, the Magic live and die with the three which most often results in the latter as opposed to the former.

I am totally surprised that the Houston Rockets have gotten off to such a slow start. It has been really surprising to me how bad their defense has been. Before Yao Ming got hurt, they were attempting to restrict him to 24 minutes a night and sitting him on the second night of back to backs. Because of Yao’s size, basketball sense, and overall ability, he is a significant presence on the court. The Rockets really struggled to get him involved in his limited minutes, but then played like something big was missing without him….because something big was missing. When Yao got hurt, they seemed to pull together well knowing they wouldn’t have him. But the defensive effort continues to be less than what it needs to be. Luis Scola and Kevin Martin are superb offensive players, but on their best day are only average defensive players. Their starting point guard Aaron Brooks is out for the next 6 weeks and backup point guard Kyle Lowry just returned form injury. But the reality is that if their defensive effort was sufficient, they could weather these injuries. Without Yao, they don’t have the interior toughness or size to compete in the West. Is it too late to take them back as my pick to be a #4 seed in the West? I didn’t think so.

I am so not surprised that it took LeBron James all of 10 games to publicly complain about Miami coach Eric Spoelstra. LeBron’s complaint was that 44 minutes were too many for him in a November game against Boston, however the content of the complaint is wholly irrelevant. The fact that James did it publicly is extremely relevant. Since before the self proclaimed king decided to take his talents to South Beach, we have heard that LeBron has always wanted to play for Pat Riley. This public desire of LeBron’s actually manifested itself into a rumor two off seasons ago that Riley was leaving his cushy executive job to coach LeBron’s Cavaliers. Of course there was no truth to it, but Lebron made it known that this was his wish. So now he plays on a team where Riley runs the front office and Dwyane Wade’s choice, Spoelstra, is the coach. When the Heat actually prove to not be invincible against a few good, cohesive teams, naturally there’s finger pointing. Spoelstra had the temerity to play his best player over 40 minutes against the best team in the conference and then absurdly suggest that his team needs to practice during the first month of the season. For two of the Heat’s big three, these are things that they would rather their coach would not do. How long until LeBron stages a one man mutiny to get Riley down to the sidelines? When Lebron said he came to the Heat to win, he didn’t just mean on the court. He’ll win all power struggles as well. This notion that Lebron James is playing on Wade’s team is absolute garbage. Lebron only plays on Lebron’s team. That is the biggest danger to this three man partnership. It won’t be shots, women, money, or attention that will create conflict between the South Beach Super Heroes. It will be the identity of the coach.

I know this is going to sound really stupid, but I’m surprised that the Knicks stink. In retrospect, it was insane to believe anything different. It was very naïve to believe that D’Antoni would promote a style of play that would actually fit the personnel that he has. He has taken a team with size and athleticism and asked them to excel at their collective weakness, three point shooting. The Knicks have 3 of the top 15 players in the league at three point attempts. Their 3 on that last of 15 have the three worst 3 point percentages on the list. D’Antoni is now coaching for his job and his desperation has seemed to cause him to make player development a secondary concern on a young team. If D’Antoni can change his tune on the fly, maybe the Knicks have a chance to get better, but I’m not counting on it.

I am not surprised that Carmelo Anthony has not been traded yet. Denver is going to wait until at least December 15, the date where players who signed extensions and free agent contracts are eligible to be traded. They may wait even longer in the hopes of getting Anthony to change his mind. If Denver believes that’s a realistic option, they’re kidding themselves. I also do not buy the notion that has been recently reported that there are teams that will trade for Anthony without his signature on an extension. It is a two team market for Anthony. If he is traded, which I still believe is likely, he will be moved to either Chicago or New York. Until recently, I had largely believed that Anthony to the Knicks was a fait d’accompli. With the Knicks’ most tradable assets not looking all that marketable, the Bulls have crept back into the picture in spite of their refusal to part with center Joakim Noah. What will be very interesting to watch is how Bulls forward Taj Gibson plays as opposed to Knick forward Danilo Gallinari. At the very start of the season, Gibson looked terrific, but has started to slow down. Gibson also has a limited window to get big minutes because Carlos Boozer will return soon from injury. Gallinari, conversely, had a very slow start and is just beginning to emerge from his rut. When Gallinari primarily resides behind the three point line, he’ll only be as good as the shots he can make. When he plays from the foul line in, he will be able to score consistently even on nights when his shot is not falling. The Knicks still have a leg up on the Bulls in L’Affaire Anthony. The Knicks have the expiring contract of Ready Eddy Curry. The Bulls are unable to offer similar financial relief. I would be remiss if I did not point out that the Bulls would have had been able to offer similar financial relief if not for their ill fated draft day trade of Kirk Hinrich. This was the trade when Chicago gave Washington Hinrich’s expiring contract and the #17 pick in the draft to rent cap space in case Lebron wanted to bring a friend. If they don’t do that absurd trade, they’re probably in the pole position for Anthony. Instead, they used the cap space on Kyle Korver, Ronnie Brewer, and C.J. Watson, which is a damn shame. A team with Noah, Derrick Rose, Boozer, and Anthony would short circuit Miami’s dynasty before it could ever get started.

Giddyap. Y’all be cool.

Pat Riley’s Traveling All-Stars and Motor Kings



In case, you haven’t heard the whole country has gone crazy. For example we have an entire generation that aspires to be like Snooki and Pauly D from Jersey Shore, including, but not limited to, the way they dress, speak, wear their hair, and the hours that they keep. So, what does this have to do with the NBA? The media world in the NBA has gone just as nuts. All anyone wants to pay attention to is the Miami Heat. (The Heat Index?? Really??) It’s almost like the Heat are the Harlem Globetrotters and the rest of the league is the Washington Generals.

For the most part, I’m just as crazy as the next guy. So, what does that mean for the purposes of this column? No, I’m not going to wake up tomorrow morning and leave the house dressed like “The Situation.” (His abs are tighter than mine.) What I am going to do is follow the herd and use the beginning part of my inaugural random thoughts column of the 2010-2011 season to address what I’ve seen out of the Miami Heat, or as I like to call them…Pat Riley’s Traveling All-Stars and Motor Kings. In the words of J-Wow, Ronny, and the rest of the Jersey Shore gang…its T-shirt time….



I’ve been extremely impressed with the Heat’s team defense early on. For the exception of the clinic that Rajon Rondo put on against them opening night, they have done a much better job than I ever expected in guarding on the perimeter.

There’s a scene in the movie Caddyshack, where the lead character, Danny Noonan, is campaigning to Judge Smails, (played brilliantly by Ted Knight) to be awarded the coveted Caddy Scholarship. As Danny finishes shamelessly groveling, the Judge turns to him and declares, “the world needs ditch diggers too..”

So, why do I impart this sweet little anecdote, you ask? Because I had legitimate concerns that the Heat had not employed qualified ditch diggers to caddy for Lebron “Superman” James and Dwyane “Batman” Wade. Granted it’s been an insanely small sample size, but it appears that Chris “Aquaman” Bosh is not only resolved to do the grunt work, he’s downright determined to do so. He’s been tough, aggressive, and a physical presence inside. Because of Bosh’s willingness to mix it up underneath, the heat have been extremely effective early on playing Bosh and Udonis Haslem as their bigs.

One of my favorite rants of the Heat apologists is that they don’t need a point guard because Lebron can be the point guard. I wonder if anything about Lebron’s 25 turnovers in his first four games indicate that point guard may not be Lebron’s most efficient position on the floor.

It’s actually been refreshing to see Wade recommit himself to the defensive end. The instincts are all there after a two year sabbatical.

Spoelstra’s halftime adjustments on defense have been excellent, especially on Dwight Howard and to a lesser extent, Rondo. But he better start defining some roles for his non Super heroes.

Do I have to keep doing this? If I type the word Lebron anymore, I’m going to light my eye brows on fire. There’s far too much going on with the rest of the league. Newsflash: The Heat are good. Lets just move on.

Derrick Rose is a special young player. He is excellent now and has unlimited upside. But 30 field goal attempts are far too many attempts to play his position efficiently. And whether Rose realizes it or not, the Bulls have a much better chance to win games where Rose is not leading the Bulls in shot attempts.

Dwight Howard looks like the work he did in the off season is paying off. His post moves look refined and he looks unstoppable with single coverage. Now if the rest of his team can pull their own collective weight……

On the surface it appears as though the Hawks didn’t blow their chance to sign Al Horford by committing $127 million over 6 years to Joe Johnson. Horford got his 5 year extension for $60 million, which was a no brainer for the Hawks, but didn’t appear to be. However, if signing Horford means that they are going to start shopping young big Josh Smith, then this Johnson contract is a much deeper disaster than I ever thought it would be.

Rajon Rondo is off to a great start. But let’s not get seduced by his gaudy assist numbers. I’m not going to say that the Celtics statistician is liberal in giving Rondo assists, but he did give him one the other night for tipping the pizza delivery guy.

John Wall is the fastest player I’ve seen on a basketball court since the early years of Allen Iverson.

I understand Kurt Rambis’ frustration with Kevin Love’s lack of defense. But the underlying problem with Rambis limiting Love’s minutes is that the alternatives are Kosta Koufos and Nikola Pekovic. Neither of them could guard a crosswalk. And Rambis also should take note that it’s never a great idea to bench your best player when you’re job security is tenuous at best.

The Knicks have been more fun to watch, and certainly look to be significantly improved. Head coach Mike D’Antoni has made a few clever moves. Bringing Wilson Chandler off the bench takes advantage of Chandler’s versatility, and he appears to have Chandler’s chucking under control. He also has used second year guard Toney Douglas very effectively. However, he better realize quickly that Raymond Felton is not Steve Nash, and he needs to be a little more creative in helping Felton get Amare Stoudemire the ball where Stoudemire needs it. D’Antoni also uses young forward Danilo Gallinari exclusively on the wing offensively. Gallo is a big strong kid who scores equally well inside and out. D’Antoni has reduced him to Kyle Korver. Currently, he’s only as good as his perimeter shot. If D’Antoni put him on the high post with Stoudemire on the low post, he’d get a lot out of Gallo every night and take some heat off of Felton and Stoudemire. With a guy like Gallo, the three point opportunities will always be there. Stuff like this is symptomatic of D’Antoni’s tenure with the Knicks. For every guy he handles well to maximize production, there’s a guy who underachieves because D’Antoni didn’t put him in the best spot to succeed.



Mike Conley’s surprise extension in Memphis most likely insures that they will not be bringing Zach Randolph back. Memphis owner Michael Heisley is taking a lot of heat in the media for overpaying Conley. I’m not sure it’s warranted. Conley, in a vacuum, is not worth $8 million a year. But he has developed very good chemistry with Rudy Gay and O.J. Mayo, who are the Grizzlies two most important building blocks. Sometimes the sum of the parts can outperform the whole. Besides, Conley looks better than Ray Felton and Felton makes more than $8 million a year.


Golden State has a problem that I’m not sure they’ve realized yet. I do not believe there is any way that Stephen Curry and Monta Ellis can coexist productively together. They both are at their best when the ball is in their respective hands. In the end, the Warriors will be better off keeping Curry and trading Ellis. This is where it gets a little dicey. Ellis is a shameless chucker who never met a shot he didn’t like. Ellis, Ben Gordon, and Jamal Crawford are in a stratosphere all their own when it comes to chucking, but I digress. Because of Ellis’ chucking, the trade market for him is a little limited. The Warriors can get something, but not even close to as much as they think they deserve. On the other hand, if they decided to shop Curry, there would be a wealth of quality offers to choose from. So, their choices have become to either trade their best player, move their 2nd best player at a discount, or persist in trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. Nellie left them a mess the EPA couldn’t clean up.

Portland has been a team that has impressed me early on. They have an athletic foursome in LaMarcus Aldridge, Nicholas Batum, Andre Miller, and Brandon Roy that can match up with almost anyone. However, in the absence of a trade, their biggest need makes them sound desperate. With all due respect to Marcus Camby, who still is immensely effective at age 36, he can’t cut it as Portland’s only quality big man if they are going to go anywhere. They need Greg Oden to be healthy. Their story ends before it ever has a chance to begin. Better start scouring the trade market.

Very frankly, I did not see a great start coming from the New Orleans Hornets. And they shut me up. I am still not a fan of swapping Darren Collison for Trevor Ariza considering that Chris Paul is leaving sooner rather than later and Collison could ably replace him. In spite of Ariza’s slightly bloated contract, he fits in well. He gets to focus on his strengths playing with offensive players like Paul and David West. Also, who woke Emeka Okafor? He looks like a different player this season. He went from a guy who played close to the rim like he didn’t want to offend anyone, to a guy who uses his rather chiseled frame quite aggressively. Their new head coach Monty Williams seems to have instilled a defensive discipline where they aggressively protect the paint. It may not last, but the Hornets are a good story right now.

Before I wrap up, I feel compelled to express my opinion about the purposeless absurd interview that ESPN New York’s Ian O’Connor did with current Florida International head coach, Isiah Thomas. Not only does Thomas shamelessly campaign for Donnie Walsh’s job, he recites a tale of revisionist history that makes me contemplate the possibility that he may actually believe some of this nonsense he spews. Isiah should make sure every time he chooses to recount his splendid draft record, that he include the fact that he traded two lottery picks for Eddy Curry. These two picks resulted in LaMarcus Aldridge and Joakim Noah. Either Isiah doesn’t believe that really happened or he’s not self aware enough to be embarrassed by it. Either way, he needs to keep Donnie Walsh out of it. Regardless of the fact that Donnie has done an admirable job in getting this thing moving in the right direction, he deserves more respect that to have this worm publicly campaign for his job while attempting to smear his tenure using convoluted rationale not based on fact or logic. Shame on Ian O’Connor for giving Thomas that forum. At this point, I only want to hear about Isiah Thomas if we’re talking about the Bad Boy Pistons….or if Florida International makes the final four.

Giddyap, Y’all be cool.